Cold. Really, really cold.

I have worn socks more days consecutively than I can remember in my adult life. I've been avoiding the great outdoors. I've been spending my days wondering if the time has come for us to move down to southern California. I have become incredibly dramatic...

... all because of the cold. 

There are people {most of you, actually}, who are accustomed to cold. Who even thrive in the colder season. Who take jogs in icy temperatures. I am not you. It has been in the 40's and dropped even to the 30's in the nights for like two weeks, and we have three days left until the normal December upper 50's come back. 

I think whoever made up the quote that the coldest winter they ever spent was a summer in San Francisco was full of it. Just completely off {ps. contrary to popular belief, it wasn't Mark Twain}. Our summers definitely can be covered in a cloud, but that cloud doesn't compare to the 30's and below that are real winter. 

My apologies to those of you who are having no sympathy for my cold toes and for the fact that we generally only own beanies for fashion statements. 

In other news than cold weather {IS there other news than cold weather? Not on any news reports around here, certainly}, we feel a bit genius because we resubscribed to Netflix only for the month of December. Now we can watch all the Christmas movies we want without having to buy them all. It's the little things, you know?

So now you know what we'll be doing with all this spare time indoors. That and dancing like ballerinas. Or like jibjab elves, which is a thing now. Obviously. 

Ps. We're about to experience Pennsylvania winter for Christmas. Somehow when it's there, it feels far more appropriate and I whine far less about it. 

Pps. Just read this. So funny!! At least we KNOW we're unreasonable about it all.

Weekends in December

Candle courtesy of RedEnvelope.

I know I said that fall is my favorite season, but after rainy, cozy, delightful evening that feels just right, December's stock goes way up. The candles, the lights, the Christmas music and movies just have that heartwarming effect that somehow only happens in December. December reminds us to give, to share, to get together with people we love. 

This December has been the best one for me since my childhood. To be perfectly honest, there have been some hard ones in there... when I was 11, 12, and 13 years old, my brother was pretty sick, and December can lose a bit of its charm when you're making multiple trips to the hospital in the rain + traffic as opposed to enjoying family with candles and Christmas lights. The years following reminded us of that sense of loss for one we adored so dearly. 

This December though... this December we're experiencing the magic of the season again. Our children cannot stay away from the tree and its glow and the ornaments. They sat by the tree to eat their dinner one night {not the best idea, lesson learned ;)}, Sophie will stand and gaze at an ornament just because it's beautiful {I remember doing the same as a child!}, and they want Christmas music playing at all hours of the day. We've been reading the story of Jesus' birth regularly, and talking about angels and stars and thankfulness.

Childhood is so sweet. It's such a gift. My children aren't even a bit stressed about giving gifts or about addressing envelopes or about travel. They're invigorated by it all, and their joy is rubbing off on us. I've never felt so stress-free in December and not because I'm lacking to-do's... believe me, I have plenty on my plate. ;)

December is best when a bit of perspective is handed to you daily by tiny little girls with big smiles.

Ps. RedEnvelope gave the candle to me as a gift, and it is actually one of the best candles we've had. The scent is perfection and the simple chic style is beautiful. All opinions are my own.

FIVE

Wide ribbons were wrapped around their glasses so the warm hot chocolate didn't burn little hands. 

Sooo this whole FIVE thing came and went, and now I have a kid who is starting to act like a school kid, and hold real conversations. We transitioned Maggie to a toddler bed the same week, and I've been mourning the sudden realization that my babies are not babies. 

Sophie is a big girl now. She adores girly-ness, tutus, rainbows, sparkles, and wands. All this considered, I decided to throw Sophie a sparkly, fancy hot chocolate party. I used sparkly wrapping paper as a table runner {wrapping paper is the BEST bang for your buck, ps}, got AMAZING sweets from The Sugar Studio {my go-to for birthdays!! Hilary is incredible... lucky me that I have such talented friends!}, added cake stands, macaron erasers in tiny envelopes with tiny cupcake stickers, and I made wands that I was sweetly told don't really look like wands, exactly, but they're nice anyway {five-year-olds are incredibly quoteable}. 

In spite of the fact that I texted friends to invite them {I had the best of intentions to send paper invites this time, but never did!}, and it was the end of a holiday weekend, and Maggie was in the ER getting staples on her head from running into the dresser the night before, it was basically a successful party to celebrate this sweet girl.

The best part of it? Children are beyond entertaining. I went ultra fancy and put cranberries in the pink lemonade... and they got spit out into napkins! I can't stop laughing about it still! "Mommy these cherries taste very bad!" I didn't explain, just emptied the tartness from glasses, and continued serving food with a smile... Egg sandwiches girls? Oh no, not at all, but the hard boiled eggs were spotted, they wanted their own... also: 

"I only want the cucumber sandwiches!"

"May I have anything BUT cucumber sandwiches!"

"Can you take the apples out of my salad?"

"Oh no, this cheese isn't good!" {brie}

I was dying laughing inside at the realization that this fancy party was thrown for the wrong target market. The good news is that they loved the hot chocolate and the fresh marshmallows and every sweet. The other good news is that little girls don't eat much, so there were plenty of leftovers and I didn't have to cook on Monday. ;) 

After they ate, I threw on Mariah Carey Christmas, removed the coffee table, and let the girls twirl and dance with their whole little hearts. 

Prettiest candle EVER! Sparkler five!

Sophie at five: has imagination and creates something from nothing. She steals my bathrobe strings and creates leashes for stuffed animals, or ties them to baskets to pull her sister around in a "boat." She can basically teach ballet at this point, and we have "class" regularly where she insists that my friends and I stretch with her, and fly like fairies together, regularly putting grown-ups in comedic scenarios. She has a heart that cares how people feel; I couldn't have asked for a sweeter big sister for Maggie. She is becoming very careful with her treasured items, tucking her new shiny necklace away every night, and setting her nutcracker on her shelf while she sleeps. She will climb anything higher than she should, and has learned {thanks to her daddy} how to climb down just as proficiently. She is loving and affectionate and melts with joy in our arms when we tell her how much we love her. Her eyes shine with life and excitement and we adore her with our whole hearts. Happy birthday dear girl. We're praying for you every single day. 

xoxo.

All the best photos were taken by our great friend Manus Chau. :)

All sweets made by the fabulous Hilary at The Sugar Studio. 

Ps. Remember this? Maggie's 2nd Birthday.

Golden Gate Bridge Adventure

Birthdays. 

I remember my fourth birthday clearly, and not another until seven. Sophie's fourth birthday was spent on a plane. I put a stick that said "happy birthday" in every meal she ate that day, and we had a grand time traveling cross country together. She requested Thai food for dinner on her birthday, then fell asleep, jetlagged, at the table. Safe to say that she may not remember that day when she is an adult.

We set out for FIVE to be a memorable birthday. One of those that she can remember in her 30's and beyond. My husband picked the perfect bike for our big girl, and she could hardly speak when she saw it... she just whispered "it's beautiful!" and ran to her daddy's arms. We spent thanksgiving morning riding it here and there and everywhere... and then we thought about making the day MEMORABLE, and took it a step further. 

My sister sent me a link to 101 things that kids growing up in San Francisco should do, and it's about time: we needed to walk across the bridge. We loaded the car and took a drive to the beautiful landmark. Sophie biked on the walk side, so we were rule-breakers a little, but she was giggling and blissfully happy. What took us so long to get over there?

What a gorgeous, amazing day. 

This weekend was big and dramatic and increased the thankfulness levels tenfold. One trip to the ER and one significant car accident for family {everyone is FINE in both cases} shook us up and made us recognize the incredible blessing that is our health. I'm finding myself a bit extra protective for my loved ones and wanting to hold them close and kiss them extra and tell them how much I love them. 

Happy Thanksgiving weekend and now welcome to December! Ahhh how I adore the Christmas season. 

xoxo.

Falling

You know those padded toddler rooms? The kind where everything is soft and there is no great danger to little cuties who are not quite steady on their feet?

I think sometimes that we need one of those. 

Tonight we took an evening adventure around the city, and as my Maggie started down a tall flight of stairs, I said a heartfelt prayer for her safety. She is incredibly capable for her age, and willing to try anything and run faster than anyone... resulting in fall after fall after fall. As she went just ahead of me on the stairs, I said to myself that I needed to get in front of her... but I wasn't fast enough. 

And she fell. 

One stair. That's all she fell. She could have fallen down 20 cement stairs, and she fell one. She scuffed her cheek and nose {again}, but she only fell one stair. And I picked her up and kissed her and hugged her and tears rolled down my cheeks. I was relieved. I was overwhelmed with gratefulness. I was overwhelmed with the way this parenting thing is SO HARD sometimes.

I know they have to grow up. I know will be in situations that we are not there and they could fall hard and be very hurt. It can be physical or emotional, but there will be moments that I can't protect them. And it hurts because I want so badly to protect them from it all. I wanted to move faster, to stand in front of her and catch her. But I wasn't and I didn't. I couldn't get there in time. 

Sometimes I want to stick my children and a soft, fluffy room, where they cannot get hurt. They can play and be happy and smile and never be harmed. It's not real though. Growing pains are our teachers, and making decisions and learning from the consequences of those decisions are the pieces of life that build character. The pieces that build strength. 

The padded room isn't the solution. It may protect for a time, but it doesn't teach. 

There are hard, painful things in the world, but the way to protect is to let my children adventure, experience, and sometimes get hurt... and be there right beside them when they do. Be there with them to dry their eyes and hug them and hold them and kiss them and love them with my whole heart. And repeat. Over and over.  

My other job is to praying for them every day, because the one who created them loves them with all His heart too. And I am SO grateful for that truth as well. So, so grateful.

xo

Thirty-One

It looks so much better to have only "thirty" and not "one" trailing behind. With all my friends who turned 30 before me, I immediately lost my memory on exactly what point of their thirties they were at any given time. Even my sister. I told her one time "well, you're over thirty, so I can't remember if you're 32 or 33, it's all the same to me."  I'm eating my words with this birthday, let me tell you.

My apple calendar has somehow glitched. My birthday is scheduled 87 times into this calendar, so when it was calendar alert time, my poor overstuffed iPhone made the 87 attempts to alert me at once, and instead froze on me, and waited for a reboot. My iPhone is breaking because of my age, I say.  

I was begged by four blue eyes this morning to do the "flip somersault." I said "okay, this?" and performed a basic somersault. "No!" insisted Sophie, "the real one! The big one!" I thought for a moment about the decision to or not to do a handspring for my children with no backup. I then thought about 31 on the all-too-near horizon, and that if I'm not doing handsprings at 30, what if I decide I'm too old at 31 and never do a handspring again?  Not on my watch. I did my handspring, landed it- kind of- and sent Sophie and Maggie into a fit of giggles and myself into a fit of "I need to sit now, and I hope I didn't tweak my back... or my feet... or my arms." It didn't feel good. I never really succumbed to peer pressure, so why not start on the eve of 31 with a 4-year-old prodding me? Now I know. Stretch beforehand, be sure another adult is present in case I break. But I landed it, so I'll take it as an overall win.

So how was thirty, you ask? Well, it wasn't too bad. I wouldn't call it a banner-all-time-great, but it wasn't a bad year either. It was a lot of juggling, a lot of learning, and the best job we've done of settling in one home and making it truly our home. The longest we've stayed in one apartment since we've been married is 2.5 years. We're coming up on our second year here, with no intention of moving anytime soon, so there's that. It feels so good to have a bit of consistency, you know? Here's to another seven! hah! Okay, I don't know about that... 

This is already long and I feel I've just begun. I want to make a list or two. I love lists. Here's a list of things I've learned at 30: 

• It's good to challenge yourself. It's good to put yourself out there. Learning is good at every age.
• Laugh as much as possible. If everything is going completely wrong in a given moment, say a prayer for sanity, and then laugh.
• Forgive. Say sorry. Be sorry. I think this has been the biggest lesson this year for me. I've been so set in my mindset that I want to be right, and this year, I realized how little it matters. It's far better to be teachable and forgiving. We are ALL wrong sometimes and we're all going to have times where we're not there for one another, and we're all going to be imperfect. I need to forgive and not hold grudges.

Okay 31, I'm ready for you... 

Act justly, love mercy, walk humbly.

-Micah 6:8