Hello There

It's Friday, and I'm breathing sighs of relief that we've survived this week and are better for it. 

Monday, I could not function because I had a stomach flu, rendering me useless. Tuesday, my darling Maggie went to the doctor for a blood test, and my emotional state had me more useless than the day before. I could not stop kissing those precious cheeks of hers when we found that all numbers are completely normal and healthy. Wednesday, my trusty old computer threw in the towel for good. Thursday, I spent the entirety of nap time playing Ticket to Ride with my sister and mom, who took the day off. Who DOES that? I don't know, but today I was wishing my sister and mom took every day off so we could escape emotional outbursts and bouts of residual nausea with therapeutic board games. 

This blog has fallen by the wayside this week, and it's been perfectly positive for my well-being. Overall, coming to this little space on the internet is my creative outlet- like writing a journal entry or reading a book would be- before the time of the Internet. Sometimes though, the roller coasters that life sometimes hand us force us to evaluate and re-evaluate what it is that we do with our time, with our thoughts, and with our words. Rather than having a normal clean-the-house Monday this week, my heart was aching for those who have to undergo chronic sickness and those who cannot physically lift a finger to help themselves. I prayed long and hard for those I knew with health issues throughout the day. Tuesday, I found my prayer life was fervently for those whose children are ill, for those who have lost their children, and for my own children's safety. These are people I do not often enough take time to consider. 

In all the exhaustion of the week, the reality is that I don't particularly want to blog links right now as I generally do on Fridays. This week wasn't a normal one, and it wasn't one where I perused the Internet for amazing things (of which there are many!).

Today, I want to be real with you. I have weeks where I feel as though each of the commitments and relationships and events- whether good or bad- get the best of me, and I feel overwhelmed to the core of my being. Weeks where I feel inadequate covering the smallest and largest of my responsibilities. Weeks where I'm teary to the point of silly (I really am the type to resist tears in most circumstances). Weeks that I feel my heart cannot feel any more than it does. This was one of those weeks. 

It's particularly timely that February begins tomorrow. Something about a turned page of my calendar, the red hearts everywhere (three cheers for the stores that commercialize their hearts out for Valentine's day! I will never say a bad word about hearts + flowers + lovvvve), and another month beginning... it refreshes me. Refreshment is exactly what the doctor ordered.

Happy Friday to all, and to all a good night. 

xoxo,

Kate

Health

The nice thing about having a blog about lifestyle is that when life hands you a day where you cannot even get out of bed, it totally fits the whole lifestyle theme.

Sometimes we get sick and there is nothing we can do about it. Literally nothing. I abide by the golden rule of eating BananaRiceApplesauceToast exclusively, taking tiny bites, tiny sips of water and gatorade, and powering through, but the sickness will need to run its course and debilitate me for a time. 

I thought a lot yesterday about the things that matter. I thought about how much I missed the little faces that I see every day, for better or worse that I could not see {special thanks shoutout to my mom, who kept them safe & happy and away from germs!}. I thought about the people who are in an uncertain place with their health, for whom the sickness doesn't only last one day. I thought about how little I consider those people. I thought about how long it's been since I have brought soup or groceries or anything to someone who cannot get them for themselves. 

It's both terrible and wonderful to have absolutely no ability to read, watch tv, peruse Pinterest {ack, I tried for a moment yesterday, and those food pins did nothing for my state of well-being!} or do anything at all. I need to do this sort of thing far more than I do, but under better circumstances of course. I read a great post from a friend about how little some of these distractions really mean. It is so important to become unplugged more often, and look at what is in front of us, and think about life, about others, about futures... with more clarity.  

Health is a gift. Today, I'm extra thankful for mine. I'm thankful that I can use my health to help others who do not have theirs. 

xo.

Today

Dear Diary / Internet,

The weather this week has been insane. Like, insane in a good way.. sunny + 75 degrees good. I haven't had the willpower or brain cells to stay inside and type anything. 

I'm working on these resolutions to DO rather than thinking forever about what I should be doing, to eat more veggies, get organized, and to enjoy each moment. We just passed the mid-January point... today, I want to lay on the couch, not DO anything productive... eat a giant pan of brownies, let the mess linger, and well... enjoy this moment of doing so. 

It takes 30 days for adults to form good habits or to break bad habits. I'm more than halfway there and it's at that tricky point where I REALLY want to "call it" and retry resolutions again in 2015 when I'm 32 and far more mature and capable of handling them properly.

I'm not really going to give up, but it's tempting.

I AM going to give the home a rest today-- tidy, but save the extra laundry for tomorrow, refrain from finding a new corner of my home to tear down and rebuild, have a sweet cup of coffee with some strawberries to squelch the sweet-tooth, and get some rays. 

Tomorrow I'll be back with a bit less of a "hey fall off the resolution wagon with me" post, and more of a "let's be better in 2014" post. 

xoxo,

Kate

Green Grass

Sometimes we get this grass-is-greener mentality.

I hear it everywhere from perfectly healthy & blessed individuals. I hear it regarding work, I hear it regarding relationships, I hear it regarding children. I hear that if my scenario was like another's day-to-day, I'd understand. I hear if their scenario was like this or that person, they'd have it better. If they had more of this and less of that, they'd have it better. If life hadn't handed them this or that, it'd be better.

Here is the truth about life: though there are plenty of things out of our control, we all make choices. We choose to work where we work {or not}, we choose to live where we live, we choose to cultivate and commit to certain relationships and not to others. We all make sacrifices to do the things we want to do, and we need to be grateful for the good things that are happening, rather than the have-not mentality. 

Our little family together made the sacrifice for me to stay home and raise our girls during the day-to-day. This isn't common around here and it isn't easy. We've also decided to live in the city, which brings with it good & bad. For years, we lived in a small one-bedroom to make this work for our family. I don't have a car to get here and there. We chose this lifestyle, and we're living it.

Was it simple for us? No. I remember when I had Sophie and none of my friends were pregnant or even close. I lived in our small home with no dishwasher or modern amenities, with all my local friends working during the day, and my life including walking our laundry blocks to get to a laundromat and then had coffee dates with my girl while we waited. I also hauled the laundry back home balanced on the stroller while I was 8 months pregnant.

Is that the scenario I would have painted for myself at that time? It really wasn't. I had lonely thoughts, and thoughts about how sad it is that my coffee dates were with a small child who couldn't even form complete sentences yet. I look at that time, and though it felt like a sacrifice at the time- we were striving for greener grass; today those days feel like some of the most precious and lovely moments of my life. It feels like God gifted me with solitude during those days so that I could experience the slow-moving, sweet days of toddlerhood with my little girl, and cultivate a beautiful mother-daughter relationship with Sophie. 

The grass was sufficiently sweet then, whether I was noticing or not.

Today, the grass is also sweet. I am sleeping full nights. My children can play together without me completely devoted to every moment and movement. I have bigger days because my children require a bit more runaround than they once did. I end each day a bit wiped from the chaos and often feel like simply a hired hand to cook & clean and grasp at straws to make things work and I get so tired.... There are many things I would adjust if everything was painted my perfect way {like hiring a housekeeper, perhaps?}... but the fact remains: this is green grass we're living.

These days are so long and years so short. It just seems that we shouldn't be pining for perfection when we have so much lovely around us now.

xoxo.

Resolution 2014

A new year. I'm writing this a week early because I really like to spend time thinking about resolutions, and New Year's Eve and day is reserved for late night memory-making parties, and slow, easy mornings. 

Resolutions are a fabulous thing. I'm so glad that we reserve the first of every year for a clean slate that we can practice introspection and strive for betterment in our lives. 2013 was a decent year. We played hard, we worked hard, we did a LOT. The first half of the year felt long and gloomy and challenging; the second half lovely and full and warm. It's not a year I'd choose to repeat, but I do believe there was character built, and obstacles overcome, and I'm grateful for that. 

There is a lot I'd love to improve in the next year, but most of all, I'd like to resolve: 

To become an intentional person in 2014. 

Does that sound too vague? Maybe. I actually look at it the opposite way. I'm kind of a free spirit sometimes. I like leaving my options open, having no schedules, letting things flow and play out the way they "should." Before having children, this was no big deal, but this year I began to feel loose and scattered rather than organized and put-together. I'm an organized person, so "loose and scattered" is not the day-to-day I picture for myself. 

There are things we say we'd like to do. We say it until we're blue in the face, but until we get something on the calendar and make it happen, it's not just going to happen.

To be intentional is to change "Hey, let's hang soon," to "Hey, are you free on the 20th to get dinner at ___ with me? Let's put it on the calendar now!" or "Oh, I need to grab this that and the other to start teaching Sophie some kindergarten prep" to "Sophie let's do a lesson, and while you work, I'll order those books on Amazon." 

Sometimes I spend far too much time THINKING about what I should do and far less time DOING. 

To be intentional is to adjust that mentality daily.

{Starting with a calendar I'll be ordering riiiiiight now!}

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

xo,

Kate

Ps. You might also like: 2013 Resolutions

Best Gift: For a Couple

Sometimes you just need a gift that's outside the box. I'm REALLY excited about THIS gift under our tree from RedEnvelope. It is... dundunduuuunn: 

Dining Table Tennis.

I don't know what made me think I needed to spend $$$ to get a pingpong table in order to get a good game going. This is genius... it's $30 best gift for couples can actually use on the regular. It's like buying a date, buying a gym membership, and buying a pingpong table all at once. HA!

Seriously though, we're loving it. We kind of got it as a gift for someone else for Christmas, but after testing it, we may need to buy a second set for them...

All photos courtesy of the incredible Pictilio.

All table tennis pieces wrapped with ribbon in one beautiful red box courtesy of RedEnvelope.

All opinions legitimately courtesy of me.

xoxo.