Eight Lovely Years

Brian and I married eight years ago today. 

We were 22. It was a beautiful, romantic, foggy San Francisco evening that I became this man's wife. I was giddy and nervous and in love... and so young.  

Brian and I grew up together these 8 years and have so much to still learn. Ups, downs, good times, tough times... we laugh and cry together, drive each other nuts sometimes, but when it's all said and done, we adore one another.  He is the one I call when I'm having a hard day. I depend on him to cheer me when I'm sad, and be happiest for me when things are good. Lucky me.

I had this funny plan for my life before I met Brian. I would definitely not meet a guy to marry in college. I would work for a bit in a fancy job, take my sweet time, marry someone from out here in San Francisco...

...but God had a WAY better plan and totally changed my life with him. In the best way. And the rest is {our} history, as they say! 

Happy Anniversary Brian, darling.

Also- I looked it up and the 8th anniversary gift the FIRST time I checked is supposed to have something to do with maple. Maple? Obviously, if you know me, you know my mind gravitates toward donuts, so I liked that... but then I thought, "that is weird." So I googled it again, and this time results sounded right... it's bronze. But then, really, bronze?

I'm sticking with the random site that said it's maple (which I interpret to be maple donuts), and foregoing tradition for something he'll actually like. Also, Brian- if you're reading this- feel free to forego tradition as well. No need to replace the drawer pulls with new bronze ones.

Happy July 8th everyone! Make today a good one. :)

What a (beautiful) week

What a week, what a week.  

First: the weather recap (in my childhood dreams, I would become a weathergirl. Good news is that in reality I didn't, because Apple products- Siri in particular- have totally messed with job security there).  

It rained- real rain- on Monday and Tuesday. I know that basically everywhere except CA gets rain year-round, but we just don't. It was very strange and kind of cozy and I wasn't sure if I should turn on some Christmas music and start wrapping gifts. It was weird.  

Then came Wednesday and I went outside early to a crazy warm, humid strangeness. I was in Haiti once, ages ago, and it felt just like that. In San Francisco. Yes, crazy but kind of awesome at the same time. I like a bit of variety.  

Now it's hot. I want to go jump in a pool, but no one in the city has a pool for the two weeks of the year that temps reach 90. 

So now that we have the weather all summarized, I'll move on... 

Sophie has told me she prefers to be called Sophie because that's her name, not Soph. She also dressed herself in a NOT crazy outfit, totally neutral outfit this week that made her look like she was 8 instead of 4 and both situations made me feel like she's such a big kid. Then today she put polka dot red pants, a striped multicolored skirt over, striped neon shoes, and a sparkly striped long sleeved tee with a brown sweater and a red flower headband over it, and I loved it. She IS still my little girl. 

Also this week, Brian and I went to another Ben Folds show at a sweet venue called Mountain Winery. Our good friend works & tours with them, so it was kind of a no-brainer to drive down to Saratoga and hang out on a gorgeous day and listen to good music. We got there very early, so it felt like vacation to just enjoy the grounds for a bit. (Work? What's this "work" you speak of?) Yes, it was about the most ideal Wednesday you can have.

I'm feeling quite old this week because I've been giving that knowing, very mature "mmm" when I see quotes that I like on Pinterest. I've always held myself to a higher standard than to be the one repinning quotes and sayings, but turns out, I'm just like the rest of us. I "liked" a few and screenshot a few, and next thing I know I'm going to hit the "inspirational sayings" tab and go to town with my "quotes" pins. Ack, such a grown-up thing. But seriously when I see: "gratefulness changes everything," I actually do believe it does deserve to be bookmarked and written and framed. I'm 30 and it's showing more & more... 

Speaking of something that should be framed... this gem may need to go in a future yearbook for these girls ("mom, what is this 'yearbook' you speak of?"). I mean, they're clearly artists, preparing to fly off to a place where they can make music and wear tutus and twirl their days away- nap and chore-free days, I might add.

Anyway, I'm sure you're aware that it's Friday and I'm in a mood and it's a good one. It's hot, (did I mention that?), and I'm wearing a dress, which Sophie lovingly pointed out to her daddy "mommy is wearing a dress because she wears enough jeans and she should wear her dress today..." which says a lot about why this blog is called styleSMALLER and not simply STYLE, because it would imply that more effort is made on my end than actually is.  

As much fun as I'm having typing the girls' nap time away, I really need to vacuum... you can probably tell from the above photo.  

Happy Weekend!  

Kate

PS. Follow on Bloglovin'!!! Google reader will be no more very soon, so carpe diem folks, seize the day.  

Chatting with Strangers

Sometimes I get into a cab and I'm friendly, and the cab (or Uber, or whatever I'm using on a given day), the driver is VERY friendly.  

That's great... kind of...  

I mean, I'm all for small talk for a minute or two, but there's a tricky balance... it's kind of like the airplane chatting... between small-talking just enough, and small talking way.too.much. Like, if you start discussing with your drivers the of ups and downs and personal careers and cab paychecks, it means they've quite possibly crossed the line.

And then I think to myself, well perhaps they've been at work for hours and just want a lovely little chat with another adult (by all means, as a stay-at-home mom, I can relate to that right?), and then I find out I'm their first call of the day. 

The airplane chat is even trickier than the cab ride, because a cab ride is generally not more than 15 minutes! Have you ever embarked on the plane, sat, and said friendly hellos... then gotten trapped in endless conversation? Ohhh, when I flew cross-country a TON in my young 20's, it seemed I would never learn. I recall making small talk and then having the person beside me start looking WITH me at my magazine when I came to the point of being done with said chat... I had to pull the "I need a nap" card. At 3pm? Yes, at 3pm.

My last straw was the time I sat beside some who casually mentioned he had just been released from prison that morning. Slightly unnerving for a 21-year-old, traveling another four hours alone beside said individual. Sometimes that's what it takes to learn.

So! Say a friendly hello, then pretend you have to look down for a minute and read something or other. When you know there is about 3% of your drive or flight remaining, choose THAT moment to strike up a conversation with a stranger. 

Annnd this is the tried and true best method for chatting with strangers. ;) Brought to you by "potentially useful Thursdays tips from Kate."

So, how was it to be unplugged?

Wellll let me tell you!  

The whole unplugged thing came about suddenly, when last Wednesday I realized I'd spent a whole heck of a lot of time staring at my phone/computer/ipad and thinking I was wasting time but not putting the darn things down for a good bit of time. I said, we've got to stop this, cold turkey. Pioneer ourselves all day Thursday. Nothing is coming of me looking at my phone. Am I looking at some awesome DIYs? Yes. Am I reading about really interesting topics? Maybe even healthy things? Yes. Fabulous pictures? Yes. Is it varied? ALSO yes. But is it truly productive? NO. 

It's not. Simple as that. And what IS productive? Being in the moments. Being undistracted. Being present. Being unplugged.  

I'll admit, I thought I'd at least get a clean house out of being unplugged, and I definitely got the opposite there. We made messes. We were a bit more extravagant in playtime because I devoted my whole self to doing the extras. 

Was it hard? Yes and no. It was so simple at 7am, and SO difficult at 10 (10am felt like Tuesdays- not the fresh start of the week, but not anywhere near the end). So simple between noon and 4, so hard near dinnertime when the world is melting for little girls who are on the brink of hunger but not quite there. All in all it was simple. 

It makes life simpler to keep the phone in the other room and only check it when it rings. It makes life simple to not concern myself with what the world is doing and with what they're thinking, or sharing what I'm doing. It made it simple to be inspired. It made writing and crafting simple. It refreshed.

If I'm to be a blogger, I'm not to be unplugged so very much... but there are BETTER ways to do this technology stuff. Discipline is a hard thing to come by when I'm the grown-up and I make my own choices. I have to really make conscious effort to discipline myself because no one else is going to do it for me. So here's how I've decided to adjust the technology consumption and live an unplugged lifestyle, while still somehow being plugged in and productive around here: 

• Take at least 30 minutes for myself when the girls go to nap and to bed. During the day it allows me to have peaceful quiet times, to pray, to read books, to nap... whatever it is that will refresh me. In the evening: to spend quality time chatting with Brian or just being with him, not distracted. As a mom, I think it's easy to say "ok they went to bed, I have to get everything done and I have to move FAST." Not true. I have to take very intentional breaks, and really enjoy peaceful moments. It will make me a better mom and wife. (Erin Loechner's insight on the subject has stuck with me).

• Create set times to do social media. Set my alarm for five minutes, three or four times a day. During those times, do all the pinning, sharing, tweeting, whatever... very intentionally- and give the girls boundaries of staying in one place and entertaining themselves until the alarm goes off. I've found I can actually do MORE in those five minutes than I would if I aimlessly picked up my phone to do it throughout the day. The girls are also learning the disciplines of entertaining themselves for short periods of time, which I've found to be incredibly healthy for their imaginations.

• I only have my personal email on my phone, and I've unsubscribed from most mailing lists (including most notifications! That's a big one- why would I need to be notified whenever I get a repin or tweet or something?), so when my phone dings (not quite so often), I can feel comfortable checking because it isn't constant anymore.

• Write only during set hours. At night a few times a week, and one hour during naps per day. Also with an alarm set, so there is purpose, rather than distracted writing. 

• Get up and shower before the girls awaken or shower at nap time. I generally just had the girls watch a Dora or Curious George during my shower, but I want ipad-watching to be the treat, rather than the norm. I disciplined myself by disciplining Sophie to not watch anything for two days after she disobeyed, and it's surprisingly easier than it seems.

We're a work in progress. I think it's important to realize that we use technology for work, social, reading, news, writing, and everything in our modern cultures, and it just adds up so quickly. Practicing the discipline of becoming unplugged is such a good kickstart to balancing the day-to-day better! 

There you have it. The little tidbits I've learned... all from one day of unplugging. 

xoxo,
Kate

"Emergency"

So...  do you guys ever freak out suddenly about- well- nothing? 

Last night, Sophie woke and was holding her tummy and yelling that it hurt... and I insisted that she go to the ER. I was pretty sure it was appendicitis. I mean, I didn't even google which side is problematic or anything (spoiler: NOT the side she was holding). She has had tummy aches a million times before and I've never freaked out about them. I think people actually think I'm a little TOO chill when she has any issues or falls or anything.  

Last night though... I got it in my mind that it had to be appendicitis. My loving husband insisted on being the one to take her, and I sat at home thinking about how terrible it was going to be that she'd probably be having surgery or something and we probably wouldn't sleep all night because we'd be at the hospital... SERIOUSLY, you guys. I was a mess for no reason, whatsoever. At the time I blamed mother's intuition... today I know it was actually just my own personal crazy, letting my imagination run free.  

And really, this so-called "mother's intuition" that other moms totally swear by is totally faulty for me. I have none! How am I the mother with no intuition? When I was pregnant with both girls, I thought they were boys. Last night, I didn't even think we had enough time to call my doctor cousin for tips before taking her to the ER. This was an emergency, folks...

My husband returned home at 1am with a sleepy, happy little girl, stickers-in-hand, raving about the doctor's adventure in the middle of the night. He was sweet enough to tell me that the doctor didn't call him cray before sending them home.

Next time we'll try prune juice.  

XO, 

Kate

Happy Mother's Day!

So endlessly grateful to my dear mother, who taught me about kindness and joy, who is sunshine on a cloudy day, and whose scandinavian culture has created a baking genius in her. She is still the one I want to come make everything alright when I am sick, and she is still one of the first people with whom I want to share any good news. She is a listener, and a supporter, and one of the best friends I have.

There are no words for the privilege it is to be a mother. that moment my first bundle was handed to me, to hold, to teach, to love until the end of my life... I was a mother.​ I had another little joy handed to me again nearly three years later... I wish I was writing at those stages of life. These girls captured my heart. They're their father and they're me and they are THEM. Individuals with passion, with emotions, with differences, with perfect imperfections. To be their mother is an honor. 

​Mother's Day. So grateful. So honored. 

​Happy Mother's Day to all of you who are mothers and mother-figures to people in your lives. You are so very loved.